While 60 is touted to be the new 40, likewise, the claim is often heard that, “30 is the new 20”. It might be hard to believe, but the term, “adolescence”, was actually penned at the beginning of the 20th century. As Western societies transitioned from agricultural to industrial bases, teens were no longer needed to work farms and universal education was becoming accepted and enforced. Until a generation or so ago, it was expected that most children would leave their parental homes once they completed their education (either high school or college) and began to work, or got married, or entered the military. In our post-industrial society, these scenarios are often no longer the norm.
More recently, the designation of “adultolescence” has been applied to those (ages 18-34), who have just finished high school, are recent college grads or are working but not quite able to make ends meet on their own, and decide to return to their parents’ homes. This transitional period can be fraught with a clash of different expectations, values and beliefs between parents and grown children.
Here are some of the issues, ideas and helpful hints to aid teens, adults and “adultolescents” navigate the often tricky shoals encountered during this life stage:
· Teen timetables have changed-due to earlier onset of puberty, the increased power of peer groups (T.V., cell phones, the internet, instant messaging, etc.), and longer periods spent being educated (through college and graduate studies), have made adolescence a psychologically and socially amorphous phase.
· Education and training are constantly needed as jobs are less permanent- it is often expected (borne out by employment statistics), that an individual may have several jobs, careers, and professions during his/her lifetime.
· Young women today have a plethora of choices regarding their decisions about education, marriage, children and careers.
· The longevity revolution has fostered the atmosphere for greater acceptance which allows young people to experiment with different living arrangements, travel, and experiencing a variety of job and educational options.
· Re-paying higher education loans, credit card debt and the high cost of housing has made it quite difficult for those emerging adults to assume a middle-class lifestyle without familial assistance.
· Families caught in the emotional and financial throes of the “Sandwich Generation”, being responsible for aging parents and their adultolescents- planning for this eventuality before it is inevitable (seeking professional advice, support groups, researching available programs, etc.) can help to make this phase less stressful and more rewarding).
· Look for and encourage within the community, societal institutions and employers- community colleges offering less expensive courses, career training and flexible hours, reasonably priced and high quality (on-site) childcare, parity for part-time workers regarding wages, benefits and training, affordable health care for all, no penalties for family and medical leaves.
And remember, taking action is the catalyst for change!
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Hello Middlessence, Good-bye Midlife Crisis
Whether the term used is “middle-essence”, “midlife”, “midcourse” or for those who prefer the French, “troiseme age” (third age), the longevity revolution has changed both the perception and actuality of when middle-age begins and ends. Few people in their 50s and 60s label themselves as “old”, favoring a description of being in their “prime” and feeling that their “best years” are actually yet to come.
The maxim of the 1960s may have been, “Never trust anyone over 30”, but baby boomers have revised that mantra to, “Never trust anyone over 90!” Just as those born after 1945 changed the landscape on every societal front in their heyday, they continue to be trend-setters in their second half of life:
• Compared to adults 18-39, middle-lifers describe themselves as feeling freer, more accomplished and successful.
• Studies have shown that those in their 50s to be more satisfied, stable, and, yes, happier than their younger counterparts.
• Interestingly, the “Me” generation accounts for the greatest number of individuals who do volunteer work.
• Being part of the “Sandwich Generation”- learning to balance the emotional, physical and financial challenges and obligations for aging parents, while at the same time responsible for children finishing school (or who are young adults not quite on their own).
• Just as multiple careers have become an accepted norm, phased-in or non-retirements and flexible work hours are becoming more common-due to choice, low savings rates, high divorce rates (accompanied by huge financial implications), and longer life expectancy, many of those in life’s midcourse choose to, or will have to have, a greater number of productive work years.
• Emphasis on looking good, eating well, exercising, pursuing things they are passionate about and enjoying what life has to offer have become de rigueur for middle-essencers.
• Feeling great and fueled by expectations to stretch out their mid-life years as long as they did their adolescence, a huge market has been created for cosmetic surgery, beauty and rejuvenation products, anti-aging drugs and nutraceuticals (foods and/or herbal or botanical extracts with medicinal and health benefits).
• Travelling on a frequent basis, and taking unusual vacations, often to exotic locales, has become a continuing rite of passage for both pre and post retirees.
• More available time to put emphasis on family and friends-made even easier by email, cell phones, etc.
And remember, taking action is the catalyst for change!
The maxim of the 1960s may have been, “Never trust anyone over 30”, but baby boomers have revised that mantra to, “Never trust anyone over 90!” Just as those born after 1945 changed the landscape on every societal front in their heyday, they continue to be trend-setters in their second half of life:
• Compared to adults 18-39, middle-lifers describe themselves as feeling freer, more accomplished and successful.
• Studies have shown that those in their 50s to be more satisfied, stable, and, yes, happier than their younger counterparts.
• Interestingly, the “Me” generation accounts for the greatest number of individuals who do volunteer work.
• Being part of the “Sandwich Generation”- learning to balance the emotional, physical and financial challenges and obligations for aging parents, while at the same time responsible for children finishing school (or who are young adults not quite on their own).
• Just as multiple careers have become an accepted norm, phased-in or non-retirements and flexible work hours are becoming more common-due to choice, low savings rates, high divorce rates (accompanied by huge financial implications), and longer life expectancy, many of those in life’s midcourse choose to, or will have to have, a greater number of productive work years.
• Emphasis on looking good, eating well, exercising, pursuing things they are passionate about and enjoying what life has to offer have become de rigueur for middle-essencers.
• Feeling great and fueled by expectations to stretch out their mid-life years as long as they did their adolescence, a huge market has been created for cosmetic surgery, beauty and rejuvenation products, anti-aging drugs and nutraceuticals (foods and/or herbal or botanical extracts with medicinal and health benefits).
• Travelling on a frequent basis, and taking unusual vacations, often to exotic locales, has become a continuing rite of passage for both pre and post retirees.
• More available time to put emphasis on family and friends-made even easier by email, cell phones, etc.
And remember, taking action is the catalyst for change!
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Nixing the Naysayers
Are you allowing others to regularly rain on your parade? Have all the negative reasons and responses to why your great ideas, plans, or dreams won’t work or aren’t practical too easily convinced you that “everyone” else must be right? Consider where these inventors, visionaries, scientists and artists (and the world without them), would have been if they didn’t believe in themselves and listened to popular “wisdom”?
• This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as
a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us,"
-- Western Union internal memo, 1876.
• "Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible,"
-- Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.
• "Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction."
-- Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872
• "We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out,"
-- Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962
• "Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific advances."
-- Dr. Lee DeForest, "Father of Radio & Grandfather of Television."
• "There is no likelihood man can ever tap the power of the atom."
-- Robert Millikan, Nobel Prize in Physics, 1923
• "Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
-- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949
• "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers ."
-- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
• "But what is it good for?"
-- Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968,
commenting on the microchip.
• "640K ought to be enough for anybody."
-- Bill Gates, 1981
• "The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would
pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?"
-- David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.
• "The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible,"
-- A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith's
paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)
• "I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper,"
-- Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in "Gone With The Wind."
• "A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the e market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make,"
-- Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs. Fields' Cookies.
• "If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can't do this,"
-- Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3-M "Post-It" Notepads .
• "Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy,"
-- Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil in 1859.
• "Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau."
-- Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University , 1929.
• "Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value,"
-- Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre, France ...
• "I don't know what use any one could find for a machine that would make copies of documents. It certainly couldn't be a feasible business by itself."
-- the head of IBM, refusing to back the idea, forcing the inventor to found Xerox.
• "The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon."
-- Sir John Eric Ericksen, British surgeon, appointed Surgeon-Extraordinary to Queen Victoria 1873.
• "There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
-- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977.
Need I say more?
And remember, taking action is the catalyst for change!
• This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously considered as
a means of communication. The device is inherently of no value to us,"
-- Western Union internal memo, 1876.
• "Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible,"
-- Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.
• "Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction."
-- Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872
• "We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out,"
-- Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962
• "Man will never reach the moon regardless of all future scientific advances."
-- Dr. Lee DeForest, "Father of Radio & Grandfather of Television."
• "There is no likelihood man can ever tap the power of the atom."
-- Robert Millikan, Nobel Prize in Physics, 1923
• "Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
-- Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of science, 1949
• "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers ."
-- Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943
• "But what is it good for?"
-- Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM, 1968,
commenting on the microchip.
• "640K ought to be enough for anybody."
-- Bill Gates, 1981
• "The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who would
pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?"
-- David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for investment in the radio in the 1920s.
• "The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible,"
-- A Yale University management professor in response to Fred Smith's
paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service. (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)
• "I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper,"
-- Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in "Gone With The Wind."
• "A cookie store is a bad idea. Besides, the e market research reports say America likes crispy cookies, not soft and chewy cookies like you make,"
-- Response to Debbi Fields' idea of starting Mrs. Fields' Cookies.
• "If I had thought about it, I wouldn't have done the experiment. The literature was full of examples that said you can't do this,"
-- Spencer Silver on the work that led to the unique adhesives for 3-M "Post-It" Notepads .
• "Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil? You're crazy,"
-- Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project to drill for oil in 1859.
• "Stocks have reached what looks like a permanently high plateau."
-- Irving Fisher, Professor of Economics, Yale University , 1929.
• "Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value,"
-- Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole Superieure de Guerre, France ...
• "I don't know what use any one could find for a machine that would make copies of documents. It certainly couldn't be a feasible business by itself."
-- the head of IBM, refusing to back the idea, forcing the inventor to found Xerox.
• "The abdomen, the chest, and the brain will forever be shut from the intrusion of the wise and humane surgeon."
-- Sir John Eric Ericksen, British surgeon, appointed Surgeon-Extraordinary to Queen Victoria 1873.
• "There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
-- Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital Equipment Corp., 1977.
Need I say more?
And remember, taking action is the catalyst for change!
Monday, March 3, 2008
Reaching Your Outer Limits
Do you see yourself as someone who welcomes change or tends to run from it? When it’s time to stretch personal or professional boundaries, a change of mindset and engaging in the art of transition can be most helpful:
• Practice turning negative thoughts into positive feedback. Ask questions like: What is the worst thing that could happen? How would I advise a friend in this situation? Where is the actual basis for my arriving at this conclusion? etc.
• Take daily 5 minute mini retreats– visualize, in exquisite detail, a favorite vacation spot, fun times with those you love, revisiting enjoyable activities.
• Be your partner’s, child’s, friend’s # 1 cheerleader.
• Rise at dawn one day each week and be mindful of what this allows you to accomplish.
•When de bating about two different courses of action, try choosing the harder, riskier one (start with something easy and work up to more challenging choices).
• On a daily basis, commit to doing one thing that you really don’t like doing. After a month, commit to two things, and so on.
• Envision yourself as an explorer-delve into your family history, investigate interesting aspects of your neighborhood or other surroundings, do research about something which you’ve always found intriguing.
• Extend yourself by getting involved in volunteer work, nurturing relationships, building a “virtual community”, cultivating new associations.
• Be an innovator-the source where others can go to for new and interesting ideas, suggestions, and information.
• Begin and end the day with a positive personal affirmation which is relevant to you and what you want to accomplish.
• Consider working with a mentor, coach, or therapist to untangle or gain greater insight into what may be stymieing your further development.
And remember, taking action is the catalyst for change!
• Practice turning negative thoughts into positive feedback. Ask questions like: What is the worst thing that could happen? How would I advise a friend in this situation? Where is the actual basis for my arriving at this conclusion? etc.
• Take daily 5 minute mini retreats– visualize, in exquisite detail, a favorite vacation spot, fun times with those you love, revisiting enjoyable activities.
• Be your partner’s, child’s, friend’s # 1 cheerleader.
• Rise at dawn one day each week and be mindful of what this allows you to accomplish.
•When de bating about two different courses of action, try choosing the harder, riskier one (start with something easy and work up to more challenging choices).
• On a daily basis, commit to doing one thing that you really don’t like doing. After a month, commit to two things, and so on.
• Envision yourself as an explorer-delve into your family history, investigate interesting aspects of your neighborhood or other surroundings, do research about something which you’ve always found intriguing.
• Extend yourself by getting involved in volunteer work, nurturing relationships, building a “virtual community”, cultivating new associations.
• Be an innovator-the source where others can go to for new and interesting ideas, suggestions, and information.
• Begin and end the day with a positive personal affirmation which is relevant to you and what you want to accomplish.
• Consider working with a mentor, coach, or therapist to untangle or gain greater insight into what may be stymieing your further development.
And remember, taking action is the catalyst for change!
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
The "Too Busy" Life
The "Too Busy" Life
Imagine being able to look back upon your life, and think about those you were "too busy" for? When you think about this, notice what feelings arise.
Ask yourself:
• Am I "too busy" to notice the little things in life?
• Have I been "too busy" to see or talk to someone? How does that make me feel?
• Do I remember someone who was not "too busy" to see or talk to me? How did that make me feel?
• Is there someone I could not be "too busy" for today?
• If my life wasn't unnecessarily "busy", how would I feel? What would I do differently?
• Is my busyness an enhancement or a detriment to my life? What does this tell me?
And remember, taking action is the catalyst for change!
Saturday, February 23, 2008
Your Personal Global Positioning System
Although everyone has one, how would you describe your personal worldview, that framework which defines your experiential reality and allows you to make sense of your life and the universe which you inhabit? Whether you think of it as your own GPS, a personal philosophy, religion, construct, narrative, schema, etc. it can be defined as the accumulated knowledge, thoughts and concepts that inform your beliefs and actions.
• What are the thoughts, ideologies, and the lenses which filter and comprise your worldview?
• Have there been noticeable fluctuations in your core values, ideas, ideals, and understandings throughout your lifetime?
• How does your personal framework define the way you interact and resolve conflicts with others?
• How have societal expectations, mores, forces, etc. impacted your lifeview?
• Has your worldview been altered when encountering those with very different mental constructs about a host of concepts, judgments and actions?
• If you’ve lived or travelled in different regions, countries, etc. have you been impacted by any fundamental differences about how the world is viewed and experienced in those cultures?
• Try writing a paragraph (or more), describing your personal ideology. What, if anything, did you discover by committing this biographical data to paper?
And remember, taking action is the catalyst for change!
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Longcuts vs. Shortcuts
Since multitasking is NOT a religious experience, and can leave one feeling overwhelmed at the end of the day, take one daily job (whether at work or at home) and "longcut" it.
• Rather than checking emails while talking with a friend on the phone, why not try to engage in a satisfying conversation concentrating on real communication.
• Instead of relying on a greeting card you've bought, how about letting that person know how you feel about them in your own words?
• Try minimizing your consumption of “fast food”, making a conscious choice to eat (and prepare whenever possible), healthy meals for yourself and those you love.
• Think of the longcuts you can come up with (I'd love to hear about the ones you did), and note how you feel by including them in your daily routine.
And remember, taking action is the catalyst for change!
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