The Great Pretender

Who hasn't had experienced situations in which they've felt like a fake, not feeling proficient, knowledgeable, or competent enough in a job, skill or task? Often, high achieving individuals admit to being wracked by feelings of self-doubt, feeling like a fraud, unable to internalize successes-victims of the "imposter syndrome".

The term "imposter phenomenon" was coined in 1978, describing a trend noted in high achieving women. They suffered from a dire lack of confidence in their abilities regardless of concrete evidence to the contrary. Women have indeed "Come a long way, baby!" since the '70's, but feeling like a fraud has no gender boundaries and is alive and (unfortunately) well in 2009:

• Begin with an inventory of your strengths and weaknesses- have these vetted by a trusted friend and frequently refer back to this list.

• Faulty memory- focusing on times when you haven't done your best, rather than on the numerous successes.

• Denigrating accomplishments and discounting compliments-time to say a simple, "Thank you", WITHOUT qualifiers.

• Dissatisfied with what's been achieved and left feeling that, "I could/should have done better/more"-stop useless ruminating and give yourself the pat on the back you richly deserve!

• Afraid of exposure- others are sure to notice the lack of familiarity, smarts or ability-what's stopping you from pursuing more information, knowledge or education to become even more of an expert?

• Constant comparison to others and believing that you always fall short- you may indeed be exaggerating the success of others while down-playing your own competencies.

• Undeserving of achievements or positions- afraid of being exposed as a fake or having been lucky or in the right place at the right time; yet the truth is that luck, timing and location will take you just so far.

• Avoiding tests or evaluations for fear of not doing well (enough)-study, get tutored and feedback from others in the know to buoy your confidence and reality checking.

• Being a "phony" phony- self deprecation can be used to lower others' expectations and garner assistance even when the "phony" doesn't necessarily believe in his/her lack of competence.

• Distinguish between negative thoughts and feelings of self-doubt vs. the reality of all objective successes-don't hesitate to get reality checks from trusted family, friends, colleagues or professionals.

• Fake it until you make it-behaving "as if" you truly believe you're competent (no time to obsess about perfection), at those things you're uncertain about until you do internalize and fully accept accomplishments.


And remember, taking action is the catalyst for change!