Sunday, April 13, 2008

“Adultolescence”

While 60 is touted to be the new 40, likewise, the claim is often heard that, “30 is the new 20”. It might be hard to believe, but the term, “adolescence”, was actually penned at the beginning of the 20th century. As Western societies transitioned from agricultural to industrial bases, teens were no longer needed to work farms and universal education was becoming accepted and enforced. Until a generation or so ago, it was expected that most children would leave their parental homes once they completed their education (either high school or college) and began to work, or got married, or entered the military. In our post-industrial society, these scenarios are often no longer the norm.

More recently, the designation of “adultolescence” has been applied to those (ages 18-34), who have just finished high school, are recent college grads or are working but not quite able to make ends meet on their own, and decide to return to their parents’ homes. This transitional period can be fraught with a clash of different expectations, values and beliefs between parents and grown children.

Here are some of the issues, ideas and helpful hints to aid teens, adults and “adultolescents” navigate the often tricky shoals encountered during this life stage:

· Teen timetables have changed-due to earlier onset of puberty, the increased power of peer groups (T.V., cell phones, the internet, instant messaging, etc.), and longer periods spent being educated (through college and graduate studies), have made adolescence a psychologically and socially amorphous phase.

· Education and training are constantly needed as jobs are less permanent- it is often expected (borne out by employment statistics), that an individual may have several jobs, careers, and professions during his/her lifetime.

· Young women today have a plethora of choices regarding their decisions about education, marriage, children and careers.

· The longevity revolution has fostered the atmosphere for greater acceptance which allows young people to experiment with different living arrangements, travel, and experiencing a variety of job and educational options.

· Re-paying higher education loans, credit card debt and the high cost of housing has made it quite difficult for those emerging adults to assume a middle-class lifestyle without familial assistance.

· Families caught in the emotional and financial throes of the “Sandwich Generation”, being responsible for aging parents and their adultolescents- planning for this eventuality before it is inevitable (seeking professional advice, support groups, researching available programs, etc.) can help to make this phase less stressful and more rewarding).

· Look for and encourage within the community, societal institutions and employers- community colleges offering less expensive courses, career training and flexible hours, reasonably priced and high quality (on-site) childcare, parity for part-time workers regarding wages, benefits and training, affordable health care for all, no penalties for family and medical leaves.
And remember, taking action is the catalyst for change!

1 comment:

Carol D. O'Dell said...

Being a sandwich generation-er and a boomer makes this blog really stand out for me.

I had both teenagers and my mother living with us--in her late 80s/90s. It was crazy, but I'm glad we did it.

Our kids are in their 20s and are starting their lives and careers. Honestly, I don't feel bad for them--my 25 and 24 year old both have steady jobs and own their own home and neither have credit card debt.

My husband and I spent most of our 20s in an apartment because no bank would lend two "kids" money for a house. We survived.

Our kids live comfortably, but not lavishly. They're in steady relationships, and we didn't go in huge debt for their education--community colleges and then local universities. Might not be fancy, but solid. They know that their parents love them and are there for them--but we're not bailing them out for every little thing.

We cared for my mom in our home the last three years of her life--and our children lived and witness this family event. It wasn't easy--my mom had Parkinson's and Alzheimer's, but it showed us all what resiliency, loyalty and love we possessed.

Now, we're all in a repressed, depressed economy. Hold tight. Tread water. Don't try to sell your house and be thankful for your job, is my advice to us all. Yeah, cut back a bit, learn to do without your Starbucks and have a cookout instead of eating out. 2-3 years, the economy will balance out.

The advantage of being old enough to be a Boomer is that you've seen economic seasons come and go.

Your blog offers many great suggestions and things to think about--thanks.

~Carol D. O'Dell
Author of Mothering Mother: A Daughter's Humorous and Heartbreaking Memoir

available on Amazon
www.mothering-mother.com