Countering Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTS)

Automatic Negative Thoughts (ANTS) are automatic largely because they have recurred many times over one's lifetime. Significant emotional experiences during childhood or adolescence intensify these responses, so the likelihood of them disappearing overnight is between slim and none!

ANT elimination therefore requires repeated counter-attacks. Placing them under the "microscope" reveals them to be untrue and counter-productive. Try asking yourself these questions:

*Evidence: What is the objective evidence for this ANT?

*Exaggeration: Is this ANT an exaggeration? Am I over-reacting?

*Am I over-generalizing?

*Alternatives: What are some other possible explanations? How would a scientist or impartial observer explain this?

*Flexibility: Can I evaluate this situation in less rigid terms? Am I thinking in overly rigid, black- or-white, all-or-none terms?

*Helps or harms: Is this belief enhancing or diminishing?

*Comparison: How have others fared in similar situations?

*Changing Places: How would I evaluate other people who acted as I did?

And remember, taking action is the catalyst for change!

Are You In Love With Your Assumptions?

Convictions, principles, ethical decisions and moral boundaries are
essential to living a life based upon integrity and honesty.
However, it is also important to consider that growth in all areas of
our lives is often based upon being open-minded, willing to consider
new ideas, introspection, and examining biases and cherished
assumptions.

Give yourself permission to re-evaluate some ideas,
beliefs, suppositions, etc. which might be hampering your openness to
different ways of looking at the world?

•Make a list of 10 (or more) things of which you are absolutely
certain. Now ask yourself if there is any way you could have been
mistaken about your conclusions? Have you continued to get the
necessary information/confirmation to validate these cherished
assumptions?

•What are your "sticking points"- those areas that get your dander
up, bog you down and make you resistant to re-thinking and acquiring
in new information?

•If you are so much in love with your assumptions, has it made you
seem rigid and unapproachable to others?

•Have you gotten stuck in focusing on results, not being present (and
able to appreciate) the "process" and the spontaneity that unfolds?

•Are you missing the forest for the trees? – focusing on minutiae
instead of the bigger picture?

•The importance of knowing when to walk away- this is as true for
treasured beliefs as it is situations and relationships that are
detrimental to well-being and self knowledge.

And remember, taking action is the catalyst for change!

Catalytic Converters

No, this Tip isn't about car engines, but rather about what it takes
to be an innovator, "converting" others to embrace uncharted
visions and setting new trends. Why is it that individuals or
organizations that start off as trail blazers seem to run out of
inspiration, design and creativity after such dazzling beginnings?
Whether at home or at the office, what helps or hinders unique
viewpoints to flourish? In order to nurture and encourage those
qualities, inherent in innovative minds, consider these musings:

• The "curse of knowledge"- experts become insulated, associating
with other authorities in their field, unable to remember a time when
they didn't know what they know, and incapable of effectively
communicating their knowledge to others.

• Core messages are concrete and readily conveyed- to the
uninitiated, the use of jargon, acronyms and an alphabet soup of
letters denoting various titles and labels is off-putting and
confusing.

• What type of "culture" has been established – one that rewards
novel ideas and taking chances, or an oppressive climate that prizes
conformity, compliance and not asking questions?

• Visionaries are rarely motivated by standard goals or pursuing a
life path deemed acceptable for them - they single-mindedly and
passionately persevere in achieving their dreams and are undaunted by
uncertainty.

• Failure often becomes a motivating factor, promoting more
opportunities and out of the box thinking.

• Influencers/Early Adopters/Transformers readily surround themselves
with bright and talented individuals, establishing a team which
further motivates and inspires original and ingenious ideas.

• Strategic planning is a mainstay - long-term thinking rather than
short-term gain is employed in bringing their visions to fruition,
using a variety of networks to gain adherents for their plans.

• Renaissance thinkers are passionate about their ideas, are inner-
directed, and revel in creating new paradigms.

• Risk takers enjoy shaking up the existing order- they are generally
rule breakers by nature.

And remember, taking action is the catalyst for change!

A Baker's Dozen For Cultivating Charisma

What are those seemingly ineffable qualities that make some individuals so thoroughly appealing and captivating, always drawing others to them? These skills, aptitudes and capabilities are often part of a life-long learning curve, continually practiced and perfected, as evidenced by the adage that, "leaders are made, not born".

Is it possible to learn to exude an air of self-confidence that enhances winning abilities, traits and personal magic? To increase your personal magnetism, read on:

1. Convey optimism, zeal and excitement, minimizing passivity and negativity, incorporating these traits into clear goals.

2. Concentrate on being a good and interested listener. Focus on really communicating with others rather than being self absorbed and be unafraid to express genuine emotions.

3. Never underestimate the power of eye contact – it's disconcerting, discounting and disrespectful not to look someone in the eye when speaking to them.

4. Read, read, read-be constantly open to new ideas, knowledge and learning. Become an expert in your profession or area of interest.

5. Incorporate a varied, descriptive and powerful vocabulary into your everyday language; practice and enhance your writing skills.

6. Don't have a hand shake like a wet noodle; conversely, don't paralyze someone when shaking their hand!

7. Great posture broadcasts great confidence. Think about the messages your body language conveys. Does it mesh with the image you want to transmit?

8. In all situations, treat people respectfully and as equals- by making others feel special, you set an example about the way you expect to be treated.

9. Never dress like a shlep! Even in non-business situations, cleanliness, care, neatness and style (which does not have to be au courant) are essential.

10. Relish (and share) an appreciation for the ridiculous. Make use of humor whenever humanly possible and always remember to smile and have fun!

11. Eliminate "foot-in-mouth disease"- think before speaking and be cognizant when a brief comment, or no comment at all, may be most sagacious. Appropriately convey understanding, empathy and genuine interest.

12. Learn from great actors, trial lawyers, orators, etc., observing their gestures, tone of voice, timing, conviction, etc. when they communicate with others. An acting class or public speaking group can be invaluable and fun.

13. Bolster the self confidence and allure of others by being a ready resource for those seeking your advice, guidance and expertise.


And remember, taking action is the catalyst for change!

A Baker's Dozen For Cultivating Charisma

What are those seemingly ineffable qualities that make some individuals so thoroughly appealing and captivating, always drawing others to them? These skills, aptitudes and capabilities are often part of a life-long learning curve, continually practiced and perfected, as evidenced by the adage that, "leaders are made, not born".

Is it possible to learn to exude an air of self-confidence that enhances winning abilities, traits and personal magic? To increase your personal magnetism, read on:

1. Convey optimism, zeal and excitement, minimizing passivity and negativity, incorporating these traits into clear goals.

2. Concentrate on being a good and interested listener. Focus on really communicating with others rather than being self absorbed and be unafraid to express genuine emotions.

3. Never underestimate the power of eye contact – it's disconcerting, discounting and disrespectful not to look someone in the eye when speaking to them.

4. Read, read, read-be constantly open to new ideas, knowledge and learning. Become an expert in your profession or area of interest.

5. Incorporate a varied, descriptive and powerful vocabulary into your everyday language; practice and enhance your writing skills.

6. Don't have a hand shake like a wet noodle; conversely, don't paralyze someone when shaking their hand!

7. Great posture broadcasts great confidence. Think about the messages your body language conveys. Does it mesh with the image you want to transmit?

8. In all situations, treat people respectfully and as equals- by making others feel special, you set an example about the way you expect to be treated.

9. Never dress like a shlep! Even in non-business situations, cleanliness, care, neatness and style (which does not have to be au courant) are essential.

10. Relish (and share) an appreciation for the ridiculous. Make use of humor whenever humanly possible and always remember to smile and have fun!

11. Eliminate "foot-in-mouth disease"- think before speaking and be cognizant when a brief comment, or no comment at all, may be most sagacious. Appropriately convey understanding, empathy and genuine interest.

12. Learn from great actors, trial lawyers, orators, etc., observing their gestures, tone of voice, timing, conviction, etc. when they communicate with others. An acting class or public speaking group can be invaluable and fun.

13. Bolster the self confidence and allure of others by being a ready resource for those seeking your advice, guidance and expertise.


And remember, taking action is the catalyst for change!

A Baker's Dozen For Cultivating Charisma

What are those seemingly ineffable qualities that make some individuals so thoroughly appealing and captivating, always drawing others to them? These skills, aptitudes and capabilities are often part of a life-long learning curve, continually practiced and perfected, as evidenced by the adage that, "leaders are made, not born".

Is it possible to learn to exude an air of self-confidence that enhances winning abilities, traits and personal magic? To increase your personal magnetism, read on:

1. Convey optimism, zeal and excitement, minimizing passivity and negativity, incorporating these traits into clear goals.

2. Concentrate on being a good and interested listener. Focus on really communicating with others rather than being self absorbed and be unafraid to express genuine emotions.

3. Never underestimate the power of eye contact – it's disconcerting, discounting and disrespectful not to look someone in the eye when speaking to them.

4. Read, read, read-be constantly open to new ideas, knowledge and learning. Become an expert in your profession or area of interest.

5. Incorporate a varied, descriptive and powerful vocabulary into your everyday language; practice and enhance your writing skills.

6. Don't have a hand shake like a wet noodle; conversely, don't paralyze someone when shaking their hand!

7. Great posture broadcasts great confidence. Think about the messages your body language conveys. Does it mesh with the image you want to transmit?

8. In all situations, treat people respectfully and as equals- by making others feel special, you set an example about the way you expect to be treated.

9. Never dress like a shlep! Even in non-business situations, cleanliness, care, neatness and style (which does not have to be au currant) are essential.

10. Relish (and share) an appreciation for the ridiculous. Make use of humor whenever humanly possible and always remember to smile and have fun!

11. Eliminate "foot- in-mouth disease"- think before speaking and be cognizant when a brief comment, or no comment at all, may be most sagacious. Appropriately convey understanding, empathy and genuine interest.

12. Learn from great actors, trial lawyers, orators, etc., observing their gestures, tone of voice, timing, conviction, etc. when they communicate with others. An acting class or public speaking group can be invaluable and fun.

13. Bolster the self confidence and allure of others by being a ready resource for those seeking your advice, guidance and expertise.

And remember, taking action is the catalyst for change!

Meltdown Mayhem-Nine Designs To Turn Adversity Into Opportunity

As the worldwide economic crisis looms large, how is it possible to see an upside to this tumultuous financial situation? While not to minimize the impact of the elimination of jobs, dwindling savings, and the loss of value in stocks and real estate, an opportunity is presented to creatively prepare, brainstorm, and have viable plans in place to counter unsettling events, and incorporate changes that have been “on the back burner”.

“X out” the idea of deserving a particular life style and start restructuring aspects of your life that you can control and those that are most important to you (more time for relationships, unfinished projects, re-defining and reassessing goals, etc.):

1. Re-frame the idea of being “cheap”- substitute frugal, prudent or economical to describe clever cost-cutting ideas and plans.

2. Eliminate extravagant gift giving-those who care about you will appreciate presents reflective of your creativity and budget.

3. Add “ecologically aware” to lifestyle re-designing- the less you buy and the more you re-cycle (not just trash), the smaller your environmental carbon footprint.

4. The “latte factor” (so named by financial columnist, David Bach)- spending $4.00 for a daily coffee? What’s the actual cost on a weekly/monthly/yearly basis? Use simple arithmetic to compute spending on clothes, restaurants, dry cleaning, etc. to total the amount of these “minor” extravagances per annum.

5. Overwhelmed by “stuff”-a great time to purge useless items (and perhaps sell them on Craigslist or ebay). Tally how much you paid for these things, keep the list handy, and refer to it anytime you consider making non-emergency, discretionary purchases.

6. Downsizing doesn’t have to be viewed as a disaster-consider the sense of freedom and lessened anxiety level a smaller home or less expensive car (believe it or not, you are NOT what you drive!), can bring.

7. Stay fit by exercising, yoga, dancing, etc.- helps to lift your spirits, reduce stress and avoid gaining weight (being active rather than eating), during a worrisome time.

8. Continuing education- improve knowledge in your chosen field (enhancing your skills in a competitive market), or pursue interests and information through reading, courses, seminars, etc. Becoming financially savvy should be part of your life-long learning program.

9. Discover the beauty of compound interest-it’s never too late to save, and the sooner the better. Align your savings goal(s) with those things that really matter to you, enhancing the incentive to save.

And remember, taking action is the catalyst for change!