Cutting Commitments

Once you start enumerating all your various commitments and what they entail –family (dinners, driving etc.), friends, work, organizations, etc, you soon realize that you've run out of fingers.

Stop, take a deep breath, and think what will ACTUALLY happen if that obligation isn't addressed today? Will it really matter in a month or a year from now? If the answer is "yes", you know it’s essential, but if you respond in the negative…

• Eliminate, or (at least), scale back on one of the commitments: ex. rather than cooking every evening, split the chef duties for dinners between you and your partner (or family).

• Set boundaries-decide what's really important, which thing in each category brings the least amount of satisfaction and prioritize those obligations.

• Initially, others may be disappointed that you're not going to be doing this task, or assume that responsibility, but they WILL get used to it AND get over it.

• Sentimental attachments to stuff - too much of everything ceases to be a good thing. Remove the clutter so that you don't feel as though you have to do more than what, in actuality, has to be done.

• Re-evaluate-if you're spread too thin and constantly harried, are you even able to do your best job? Time to be choosy.

• Freedom from guilt - as your time frees up and your resentment at having to do that job is eliminated, guilt will dissipate. Enjoy it!

• Under-promise–before saying "yes", think about the ramifications of your response. Renegotiate or politely decline requests, suggest alternatives, or re-schedule at more convenient times.

• Delay deadlines-give yourself more breathing space whenever possible, considering if your "due by date" is self-imposed; eliminate things of lesser importance if a deadline is immovable.

• Increase personal power and integrity - when commitments are manageable and realistic your word is indeed your bond.

• It's the vision thing- why allow automatic daily choices, tasks and responsibilities to completely dwarf the grand plan you've constructed for your life? Reverse auto-pilot and commit to what is going to bring that plan to fruition.

And remember, taking action is the catalyst for change!

Are You In Love With Your Assumptions?

Convictions, principles, ethical decisions and moral boundaries are
essential to living a life based upon integrity and honesty.
However, it is also important to consider that growth in all areas of
our lives is often based upon being open-minded, willing to consider
new ideas, introspection, and examining biases and cherished
assumptions.

Give yourself permission to re-evaluate some ideas,
beliefs, suppositions, etc. which might be hampering your openness to
different ways of looking at the world?

•Make a list of 10 (or more) things of which you are absolutely
certain. Now ask yourself if there is any way you could have been
mistaken about your conclusions? Have you continued to get the
necessary information/confirmation to validate these cherished
assumptions?

•What are your "sticking points"- those areas that get your dander
up, bog you down and make you resistant to re-thinking and acquiring
in new information?

•If you are so much in love with your assumptions, has it made you
seem rigid and unapproachable to others?

•Have you gotten stuck in focusing on results, not being present (and
able to appreciate) the "process" and the spontaneity that unfolds?

•Are you missing the forest for the trees? – focusing on minutiae
instead of the bigger picture?

•The importance of knowing when to walk away- this is as true for
treasured beliefs as it is situations and relationships that are
detrimental to well-being and self knowledge.

And remember, taking action is the catalyst for change!