Vexing Verbs

A client, enumerating the myriad reasons for her divorce, stated that her husband “didn’t do verbs”. She explained that any action was generally too much to expect of him, or once begun, things were generally not completed.

Think back to your earliest grammar lessons, when taught that nouns were naming words and verbs were action words. Other parts of speech which modify verbs are also indicators of how language conveys and determines active vs. passive responses in all types of decisions and interactions:

•What ar e the verbs that regularly pepper your vocabulary? Are they descriptive of how you see yourself and the image you project to the world?

• Do your words and expressions spur you on to satisfying and successful deeds and accomplishments?

• Take inventory of the verbs or phrases you use which are ineffective. What powerful language will you then employ? (Hint: Instead of, “I’ll try”, substitute, “I will”; in place of “This/he/she/it makes me”, insert, “I choose to”, etc.).

• Be specific and concrete-rather than stating that, “I want to get a new job”, clearly state what type of job you want, within what time frame, what salary range, etc., so that you are conveying a tangible message to yourself.

• Is the language you use conversant with the non-verbal cues you give- body language, tone of voice, facial expressions, etc?

• Incorporate verbs which transmit positive physical movement- those that translate into actual and explicit measures to be taken and accomplished.

And remember, taking action is the catalyst for change!

Dynamic Vs. Static Words

Powerful language and communication makes a significant statement to ourselves and others about how we see the world and how the world sees us. Here are some examples:


Dynamic Words/Phrases

Yes/No
Will/Won't
By when
Create
When...happens


Static Words/Phrases

I think so/Don't think so
Would/Should/Have to
Some day
Made me
If...happens


Create your own list of dynamic vs. static words and note how frequently you use them. Keep the list visible and add to it frequently.

And remember, taking action is the catalyst for change!