Doth you project too much? Assigning the same beliefs, ideas or values to others without validating the veracity of those (projected) convictions, can lead to misunderstandings, misinterpretations, incorrect comprehension and cognitive goofs. Holding onto beliefs solely because they are familiar and comforting, (yet often untested and unchallenged), can lead to self-fulfilling prophesies rather than creative and original thinking:
• When looking back upon errors in judgment, how often were they based upon a lack of knowledge, experience, exposure or open-mindedness?
• Where are these opinions etched in stone? Just because "everyone says", or something is written, it still behooves the reader/participant to examine additional sources, suggestions and ideas.
• Beware of misconceptions created and perpetuated by films, television, the internet, etc. -confusing real life with the (mis)information or the ideal projected in the media often leads to unreal expectations and disappointments.
• Gender differences often lead to miscues and misconceptions about messages (supposedly) given and/or desired by the opposite sex-ask for clarification whenever possible, or get reliable feedback from a trusted friend of the opposite sex.
• Believing that the past is prologue to the future- if someone or something strongly influenced your life in the past, they will ALWAYS determine your feelings and behavior.
• Are irrational beliefs distorting thinking and behavior patterns- ex. seeing yourself as a victim (Why do bad things ALWAYS happen to me?), anything less than perfection is NOT okay, viewing most problems as catastrophes or being "devastated" by disappointments.
• Try putting different attitudes and beliefs in historical perspective- it wasn't all that long ago that there was an uproar about "giving" women the right to vote, or consider the "truisms" promulgated about race in the U.S. prior to the civil rights movement.
• Memory is often kind- it's easy to remember the times we're right, but when wrong, readily forgotten. Try keeping a log of your attitudes and values, checking regularly to see if those notions still hold weight for you.
And remember, taking action is the catalyst for change!
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