If You Don't Ask, You'll NEVER Get

Being direct, assertive, and taking the plunge by asking for the things you want needn't be a harrowing task. Over analyzing the odds for success before you let your wishes to be known can cause inaction and paralysis, wasting valuable time and energy on problems that may never arise. This doesn't mean that your every request will be met with a positive outcome, but these suggestions will energize and reward your quest for gettin' the goods (and goodies!):

• Vague notions- the first step is knowing EXACTLY what you want.

• Unambiguous communication-by clearly spelling out your needs, you'll get what you want rather than what others want you to have.

• Fear of rejection- not only is it unimportant what "everyone" else will think (is someone taking out an ad in The New York Times, belittling what you asked for?), but others will rarely view your request as unreasonable.

• Do you view asking as impolite-something that "nice girls don't do"-so who's to blame if you don't get the raise you deserve, don't date the person you're really interested in, etc?

• Ask questions, particularly about those things which will give you the needed information to achieve your goals-you won't be seen as being dumb or pushy, and others will appreciate your interest and curiosity.

• Be audacious-ask for something that is considerably more than you thought possible. Who knows, the request may actually be granted, or you may find it easier to then "settle" for the thing(s) you really desired.

• Exude confidence-convey a positive attitude which assumes that you'll get what you want- humor and charm go a long way and are always great assets to employ.

• For one week, rather than saying what it is that you don't like, want, or have, make a concerted effort (keep a list), to substitute the things that you do want, being specific, asking in a positive manner, and taking responsibility for the requests.

And remember, taking action is the catalyst for change!